Quotes from Woody Allen

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  Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.Woody AllenView Quote →
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  I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.Woody AllenView Quote →
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  Eighty percent of success is showing up.Woody AllenView Quote →
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  I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.Woody AllenView Quote →
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  Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.Woody AllenView Quote →
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  How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?Woody AllenView Quote →
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  It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.Woody AllenView Quote →
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  I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.Woody AllenView Quote →
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  Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.Woody AllenView Quote →
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  It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.Woody AllenView Quote →